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Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man: What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy and Commitment
Steve Harvey, 2009
HarperCollins Publishers
240 pp.

In Brief
Steve Harvey, the host of the nationally syndicated Steve Harvey Morning Show, can't count the number of impressive women he's met over the years, whether it's through the "Strawberry Letters" segment of his program or while on tour for his comedy shows. These are women who can run a small business, keep a household with three kids in tiptop shape, and chair a church group all at the same time. Yet when it comes to relationships, they can't figure out what makes men tick. Why? According to Steve it's because they're asking other women for advice when no one but another man can tell them how to find and keep a man. In Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, Steve lets women inside the mindset of a man and sheds lights on concepts and questions such as:

– The Ninety Day Rule: Ford requires it of its employees. Should you require it of your man?

– How to spot a mama's boy and what if anything you can do about it.

– When to introduce the kids. And what to read into the first interaction between your date and your kids.

– The five questions every woman should ask a man to determine how serious he is.

– And more...

Sometimes funny, sometimes direct, but always truthful, Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man is a book you must read if you want to understand how men think when it comes to relationships. (From the publisher.)

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About the Author

• Birth—January 17, 1956
• Where—Welch, West Virginia, USA
• Education—University of Virginia
• Awards—multiple NAACP Image Awards for The Steve
  Harvey Show (1966-2002)
• Currently—lives in New York City


Steve Harvey began doing stand-up comedy in the mid-1980s. His success as a stand-up comedian led to a WB network show, The Steve Harvey Show, which ran from 1996 to 2002. It was a huge hit and won multiple NAACP Image Awards. In 1997, Harvey continued his work in stand-up comedy, touring as one of the "Kings of Comedy," along with Cedric the Entertainer, D. L. Hughley, and Bernie Mac. The comedy team would later be reunited in a film by Spike Lee called The Original Kings of Comedy. Steve Harvey is now widely known as the host of the nationally syndicated Steve Harvey Morning Show, which has more than seven million listeners. Harvey continues his unending pursuit and commitment to furthering opportunities in high schools throughout the country with generous contributions from the Steve Harvey Foundation. (From the publisher.)

More
Harvey was born in Welch, West Virginia, the son of Eloise and Jesse Harvey, a coal miner. He moved to Cleveland, Ohio and graduated from Glenville High School in 1974. He has held jobs as both an insurance salesman and a boxer.

He began doing stand-up comedy in the mid-1980s, and was a finalist in Second Annual Johnnie Walker National Comedy Search in 1989, eventually leading to a long stint as host of It's Showtime at the Apollo, succeeding Mark Curry in that role. His success as a stand-up comedian led to a starring role on the ABC show, Me and the Boys in 1994. He would later star on the WB network show, The Steve Harvey Show, which ran from 1996 to 2002. While wildly popular in the African-American community (the show won multiple NAACP Image Awards), the show never achieved critical acclaim outside of the African-American community, a matter about which Harvey has often complained.

In 1997, Harvey continued his work in stand-up comedy, touring as one of the Kings of Comedy, along with Cedric the Entertainer, D.L. Hughley and Bernie Mac. The comedy act would later be put together into a film by Spike Lee called The Original Kings of Comedy. DVD sales of The Original Kings of Comedy and Don't Trip, He Ain't Through With Me Yet increased Steve Harvey's popularity. Harvey released a hip hop and R&B audio CD on a record label he founded, and authored a book, Steve Harvey's Big Time. That title was also used as the name of Harvey's comedy and variety television show (later renamed Steve Harvey's Big Time Challenge) which aired on The WB network from 2003 until 2005. Harvey also launched a clothing line which features the line of dress wear. In 2005 Steve co-starred with David Spade in the movie Racing Stripes. He had appeared in the 2003 movie The Fighting Temptations.

Harvey is the host of his own morning radio show, The Steve Harvey Morning Show, which was originally syndicated under Radio One, Inc. broadcasting company, from September 2000 until May 2005. Despite efforts to syndicate the show nationally, ultimately, it aired only in L.A., on KKBT, and in Dallas on KBFB, with Harvey splitting his time between the Dallas and L.A. studios. As a result, Harvey and Radio One decided to part ways shortly before his contract expired. In September 2005, Harvey signed a joint syndication deal with Premiere Radio Networks and Inner City Broadcasting Corporation for a new incarnation of The Steve Harvey Morning Show. The show is based out of WBLS, in New York. In March 2009, it was announced that The Steve Harvey Morning Show will be replacing The Tom Joyner Morning Show in Chicago and will be simulcast on both WGCI and WVAC, which was Tom Joyner's flagship station. (From Wikipedia.)

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Critics Say. . .
This book offers surprising insights into the male mentality and gives woman a few a few strategies for taming that unruly beast.
Philadelphia Inquirer


Filled with practical principles, rules and tips, and illustrated with humorous and warm-hearted anecdotes from Harvey’s life and friendships, Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man gives readers the real deal about the differences between the sexes and how to bridge them for a mutually rewarding partnership.
New York Beacon


As a popular comedian, radio host and red-blooded male, harvey doesn't have the bona fides typical to most women's relationship self-help, but he still manages a thorough, witty guide to the modern man. Harvey undertakes the task because "women are clueless about men," because "men get away with a whole lot of stuff" and because he has "some valuable information to change all of that." Harvey makes a game effort, taking a bold but familiar men-are-dogs approach: if you're "cutting back" on sex, "he will have another woman lined up and waiting to give him what he needs and wants-the cookie." several chapters later, however, he introduces the "ninety-day rule," asserting that, actually, he won't always have another woman lined up-and the only way to make sure is a three month vetting period. Harvey also tackles mama's boys, "independent-and lonely-women," and the matter of children in the dating world ("if he's meeting the kids after you decide he's the one, it's too late"). Feminists and the easily offended probably won't take to harvey's blanket statements and blunt advice, but harvey's fans and those in need of tough (but ticklish) love advice should check it out (especially the hysterical last chapter's Q & A).
Publishers Weekly


Readers Say . . .
(Occasionally, we try to include helpful reviews from Barnes & Noble customers.)


Light bulb finally lights up over my head : This book was wonderful and a real eye-opener. I feel EVERY woman should read this book. Doesn't matter if they are married, divorced, or single. This book really breaks down how men think about relationships, woman, and themselves in general. I would recommend buying this book, reading it once, then reading again to make tabs to reference back to in the future. Ladies tell your friends, sisters, co-workers to buy their own copy because it is a definite keep for future need.
Reviewer - Lady-3, 3/23/09


Every Woman Should Have a Copy : If I knew then what I know now, after reading this book, I may have avoided some of the heartache. I would highly recommend this book to our young girls who haven't yet been jaded by love, to our young women who are trying to balance school, life and love and to our older women who may have given up on finding the right man. The most important piece of advice I took away from the book, is to not only set my standards high, but to not waiver from them, something that we do a bit too easily when we really like someone. As Steve says, chivalry is not dead, it's just no longer required. If we stand our ground correctly, the right man will stand with us. Great job on a first effort, Mr. Harvey. I hope to see a sequel!
Reviewer - anonymous, 3/16/09


200-Page Excuse for Why He Cheated on His Wife : Okay... so there is validity to the information Steve says about men being very simplistic, the three P's as he refers... If women have low self esteem and have no requirements for how men treat them and no expectations of their dates then maybe this could be a useful read for them. Women definitely need to limit the crap they put up with and scratch men off their potential list if men can't raise the bar. Steve suggest why would you want this man if he cannot show he's "all in", but really, it does not drive home to women they are worth more than the man who's not "all in". The Book "He's Just Not That Into You" is far better with all of this! After my laughing through the first 55 pages of obvious anecdotes about men and how they think (women get a clue) the next 172 pages felt like Steve writing an excuse and justification for why he once cheated on his wife.. This book contradicts itself so many time it's head shakeable, suggesting one thing and then suggesting it again completely different.
Reviewer - beart72, 3/9/09

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Book Club Discussion Questions

Sorry—the publisher has not made any questions available for this book.

But don't despair. Use our LitLovers Book Club Resources; they can help with discussions for any book:

   • Generic Discussion Questions
   • Read-Think-Talk About a Book

Also, consider these LitLovers talking points to help get a discussion started?

1. Harvey compares Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man to a playbook from an rival sports team—reading it will give women an advantage. In other words, he paints men as the opposition team to women. Is that a good way to approach a love relationship? Does it set up the right, or wrong, model? Might there be a different model to follow, a partnership, perhaps? Or something else? Or is team rivalry, in which each side wants to "win," actually a fair description of what male-female relationships are about?

2. Is Harvey's advice valuable for single women looking for a relationship...or married women already in a relationship...or both?

3. This book offers a wealth of topics for discussion! Certainly one approach is to take each chapter sub-heading (e.g., "Our Love Isn't Like Your Love," "Sports Fish vs. Keepers," or "Mama's Boys") and discuss its validity and its application to personal, real-life experiences.

4. For men: how do you experience Harvey's message? Does it apply to your lives? Does it ring true? Do you find it illuminating, tiresome, untrue? If yours is an all-women club, invite men—boyfriends, husbands, fathers, brothers—to read the book and join you for the discussion. Or just ask a few men to read and comment on certain sections. Talk about their reactions during discussion.

5. Overall, what is Harvey's message: that men need to change? Or that men don't need to, or can't, change and that women must learn to understand the male perspective? What about women—is Harvey suggesting they need to change?

6. What did you learn from Harvey's book? Anything new? What did you find funny, thought-provoking, irritating?

7. Do you think all women should read this book? Will it help relationships? What about men—required reading or not?

(Questions by LitLovers. Please feel free to use them, online or off, with attribution. Thanks.)