Alice I Have Been (Benjamin) - Book Reviews

Book Reviews
(Starred review.) Benjamin draws on one of the most enduring relationships in children's literature in her excellent debut, spinning out the heartbreaking story of Alice from Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. Her research into the lives of Charles Dodgson (aka Lewis Carroll) and the family of Alice Liddell is apparent as she takes circumstances shrouded in mystery and colors in the spaces to reveal a vibrant and passionate Alice. Born into a Victorian family of privilege, free-spirited Alice catches the attention of family friend Dodgson and serves as the muse for both his photography and writing. Their bond, however, is misunderstood by Alice's family, and though she is forced to sever their friendship, she is forever haunted by their connection as her life becomes something of a chain of heartbreaks. As an adult, Alice tries to escape her past, but it is only when she finally embraces it that she truly finds the happiness that eluded her. Focusing on three eras in Alice's life, Benjamin offers a finely wrought portrait of Alice that seamlessly blends fact with fiction. This is book club gold.
Publishers Weekly


In this historical novel about the real-life Alice in Alice in Wonderland, 80-year-old Alice Hargreaves looks back on three periods of her life: her Victorian childhood as the daughter of an Oxford don and the special friend of mathematics tutor Charles Dodgson, later known as Lewis Carroll; her young adult romance with Prince Leopold and its painful conclusion; and her marriage to country gentleman Reginald Hargreaves and the raising of their three sons, who eventually face the horrors of World War I. Throughout it all, Alice is burdened by her fictional identity and by having captivated the odd, stuttering Mr. Dodgson as a child. The jealousy and rumors caused by his intense fondness for Alice besmirch both their reputations for years to come. Verdict: Benjamin's novel imagines the truth behind the mystery of Lewis Carroll's relationship with his child muse, Alice Liddell. Although the shadow of inappropriateness always lingers, this is truly a love story, albeit one that could happily exist only in a fairy tale. This novel will have wide appeal as it includes history, romance, literature, and a great deal of suspense. —Joy Humphrey, Pepperdine Univ. Law Lib., Malibu, CA
Library Journal


Benjamin's debut imagines Alice Liddell's experiences before and particularly after Lewis Carroll immortalized her. She was born in 1852, daughter of the dean of Christ Church College, Oxford; she died in 1934, at the height of the Great Depression. But Alice's life reached its literary apex in 1862, when on a summer afternoon Oxford mathematics don Charles Dodgson entertained the Liddell sisters with a tale of Alice falling down the rabbit's hole, later to be the inaugural event in his hugely successful book, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. This well-documented afternoon and the girl's charged relationship with Dodgson are described by the author as defining experiences for Alice, both magical and traumatic, overshadowing the subsequent 70 years. Benjamin's adult Alice grapples with a repressed memory; her one-dimensional Dodgson is a daydreaming, stuttering loser. The relationship offered here, that of a pedophile and his victim, is too predictable and simplistic; the sexual mores of Victorian England and of Dodgson himself were more complicated. The novel becomes richer and increasingly assured after the "break," when Dodgson is forbidden to see Alice again. She grows to maturity in Oxford's culturally privileged enclave, is wooed by Queen Victoria's son, Prince Leopold (barred from marrying her in part because of the unspoken, lingering scandal concerning Dodgson), then finally marries and bears three boys, two of them killed in World War I. In the end, this rigid Victorian lady, at a loss in the 20th century, recovers her memory and finally finds what her life has lacked—acceptance and self-love. Historical fiction hampered by a 21st-century perspective on Victorian values.
Kirkus Reviews