Discussion Questions
1. Have you ever faced a serious illness or helped a friend or family member through a serious illness? What did you learn from the experience?
2. Pat found a lot of comfort in gardening, nature, pets, her children, friendships and books. She mentioned books coming in the mail, trips to the library, etc. What are some things (including books) that give you comfort?
3. How do you think writing helped Pat? Do you journal on a regular basis?
4. Do you correspond via handwritten letters or postcards with anyone? What does a handwritten note tell about the author (rather than a typed one), such as mood or state of mind?
5. New York Times bestselling author Michael Perry said about Pat and the book: "First, just write it all down. You never know what a legacy it might become." Do you cherish and save handwritten items? Why/Why not?
6. Do you think that the schools should continue to teach writing? Why/Why not?
7. How does grief play a part in Pat’s life? For example, a month before Pat died, she was buying books online and had a friend check out a stack of books from her local library. On the other hand Pat takes care of "her business," and even writes her own obituary.
8. Pat writes about her grown children: "…I imagined a rotating visit plan with my chicks. They could each stay a month (or more) at a time. Not practical, but delightful to imagine. I do miss them when they are far away—always want them close. They help me in so many ways."
How does each child in his and her own way help and sustain their mother?
9. In a letter to a friend, Pat writes:
I love having girlfriends (like you) around me—so natural, comfortable. In my younger days, I dreamed of a community of women and children, with the men living on the next piece of land. Made good sense to me.
Pat was born in 1951, and therefore grew up during the '60’s and '70s. How does this impact her attitudes toward friendship, feminism, culture, music, and relationships?
10. There is much in the media these days about death and dying, prolonging life through medical interventions vs. receiving palliative care only. Pat and her family courageously made a commitment to keep her at home and bring hospice in to help her during her final months. How would you approach the dying process if you had a terminal illness?
(Questions issued by the editors, Cathy Gorey, and Marilyn Christensen.)