If You Could See What I See
Cathy Lamb, 2013
Kensington Publishing
434 pp.
ISBN-13: 9780758259400
Summary
In this moving, insightful new novel, acclaimed author Cathy Lamb delves into the heart of going home again, the challenge of facing loss—and the freedom of finally letting go. . .
For decades, the women in Meggie O'Rourke's family have run Lace, Satin, and Baubles, a lingerie business that specializes in creations as exquisitely pretty as they are practical. The dynamic in Meggie's family, however, is perpetually dysfunctional. In fact, if Meggie weren't being summoned back to Portland, Oregon, by her grandmother, she'd be inclined to stay away all together.
Since her husband's death a year ago, Meggie's emotions have been in constant flux, and so has her career as a documentary film maker. Finding ways to keep the family business afloat—and dealing with her squabbling sister and cousin—will at least give her a temporary focus.
To draw customers to their website, Meggie decides to interview relatives and employees about their first bras and favorite lingerie. She envisions something flip and funny, but the confessions that emerge are unexpectedly poignant. There are stories of first loves and aching regrets, passionate mistakes and surprising rendezvous. And as the revelations illuminate her family's past, Meggie begins to find her own way forward.
With warmth and unflinching humor, If You Could See What I See explores the tender truths we keep close—and what can happen when we find the courage to bare them to the world. (From the publisher.)
Author Bio
• Birth—N/A
• Where—Newport Beach, California, USA
• Raised—state of Oregon
• Education—B.A., University of Oregon
• Currently—lives in Portland, Oregon
In her words:
I was born in Newport Beach, California and spent my first ten years playing outside like a wild vagabond.
As a child, I mastered the art of skateboarding, catching butterflies in bottles, and riding my bike with no hands. When I was ten, my parents moved me, my two sisters, a brother, and two poorly behaved dogs to Oregon before I could fulfill my lifelong dream of becoming a surfer bum.
I then embarked on my notable academic career where I earned good grades now and then, spent a great deal of time daydreaming, ran wild with a number of friends, and landed on the newspaper staff in high school. When I saw my byline above an article about people making out in the hallways of the high school, I knew I had found my true calling.
After two years of partying at the University of Oregon, I settled down for the next three years and earned my bachelor’s and master’s degrees in education, and became a fourth grade teacher. I became a teacher because I wanted to become a writer. It was difficult for me to become proper and conservative but I threw out my red cowboy boots and persevered. I had no choice. I had to eat and health insurance is expensive. I loved teaching, but I also loved the nights and summers where I could write and try to build a career filled with creativity and my strange imagination.
I met my husband on a blind date. A mutual friend who was an undercover vice cop busting drug dealers set us up. My husband jokes he was being arrested at the time. That is not true. Do not believe him. His sense of humor is treacherous. It was love at third sight. We’ve now been married a long time.
Teaching children about the Oregon Trail and multiplication facts amused me until I became so gigantically pregnant with twins I looked like a small cow and could barely walk. With a three year old at home, I decided it was time to make a graceful exit and waddle on out. I left school one day and never went back. I later landed in the hospital for over six weeks with pre term labor, but that is another (rather dull) story. I like to think my students missed me.
When I was no longer smothered in diapers and pacifiers, I took a turn onto the hazardous road of freelance writing and wrote over 200 articles on homes, home décor, people and fashion for a local newspaper. As I am not fashionable and can hardly stand to shop, it was an eye opener to find that some women actually do obsess about what to wear. I also learned it would probably be more relaxing to slam a hammer against one’s forehead than engage in a large and costly home remodeling project. I also tried to write romance books, which ended ingloriously for years.
I suffer from, “I Would Rather Play Than Work Disease” which prevents me from getting much work done unless I have a threatening deadline, which is often. I like to hang with family and friends, walk, eat chocolate, travel, go to Starbucks, and I am slightly obsessive, okay very obsessive, about the types of books I read. I also like to be left alone a lot so I can hear all the bizarre and troubled characters in my head talk to each other and then transfer that oddness to paper. The characters usually don’t start to talk until 10:00 at night, however, so I am often up ‘til 2:00 in the morning with them. That is my excuse for being cranky. Really, I was just born a little cranky.
I adore my children and husband, except when he refuses to take his dirty shoes off and walks on the carpet. I will ski because my kids insist, but I secretly don’t like it at all. Too cold and I fall all the time.
I am currently working on my next novel and I’m not sleeping much. (From the author's website.)
Follow Cathy on Facebook.
Book Reviews
Lamb is an awesome storyteller and moves seamlessly from the past to the present.
RT Book Reviews
IF YOU COULD SEE WHAT I SEE: Lamb’s story is earnest, heartwarming and, at times, heartbreaking.
RT Book Reviews
THE FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF MY LIFE: The blending of three or more generations and the secrets they harbor keeps this story moving briskly, culminating in a satisfying ending that makes us believe that despite heartache and angst, there can be such a thing as happily ever after.
New York Journal of Books
SUCH A PRETTY FACE: Stevie’s a winning heroine
Publishers Weekly
HENRY’S SISTERS
An Indie Next List Notable Book.
A story of strength and reconciliation and change.
Sunday Oregonian
If you loved Terms of Endearment, the Ya Ya Sisterhood, and Steel Magnolias, you will love Henry’s Sisters. Cathy Lamb just keeps getting better and better.
Three Tomatoes Book Club
THE LAST TIME I WAS ME: Charming.
Publishers Weekly
JULIA’S CHOCOLATES: Julia's Chocolates is wise, tender, and very funny. In Julia Bennett, Cathy Lamb has created a deeply wonderful character, brave and true. I loved this beguiling novel about love, friendship and the enchantment of really good chocolate.
Luanne Rice, New York Times bestselling author
Discussion Questions
1. If you were goion a trip, would you take Regan, Brianna, Meggie, Lacey or Tory with you? Why? Where would you go? What would you do? What advice would they give you about your life?
2. Describe Meggie. What are her strengths and weaknesses? Was she fair to the police chief, Blake Crighton? How is she as a businesswoman? A family member? What did her clothes say about her? Would you want to be friends with her?
3. Aaron Torelli did not admit to Meggie that he had severe emotional issues before he married her. Should he have? What was Meggie’s obligation to him after she found out? What should she have done differently in her marriage? What would you have done? Would you have left sooner than she did? Would you have left at all?
4. Was Meggie justified in leaving Aaron after he had an affair, despite his mental health diagnosis? Was Meggie justified in having an affair with Henry while still married to Aaron?
5. How did you like the structure of the book? Did the flashbacks to Meggie’s marriage enhance the story? What are the over arching themes? What did the tree house symbolize? What did Mt. Hood and Lace, Satin, and Baubles symbolize?
6. Discuss the sisters’ relationship. Was it realistic? Is Lacey a good mother? Can you relate to her struggles as a working mother to three unique teenagers? Did you like Tory? Was her anger merited? Did Scotty deserve the wood carving in his front yard?
7. Hayden Rockaford said,
I know I was supposed to be born a girl but something got messed up. I think that somehow, when my mom was pregnant with me, something went wrong. It’s not like I’m wrong, or I’m a mistake, and it’s not her fault, not my fault, but something didn’t connect in there right. For me, what happened is the right plumbing didn’t grow in. The plumbing was switched. That’s it. I’m in the wrong body.
What did you think of this character and his struggles? How was it handled by the author?
8. In If You Could See What I See...
Kalani Noe applied for a job at the factory as a seamstress. Her husband did not want her to have a job. A job meant independence. A job meant money. Both threats to him. Her lip was split in half. One eye was swollen shut, there was a bruise down her left cheek. During the interview, she kept dabbing at her ear, which her husband had partially bitten off.
Why did the author put Kalani in the story? Contrast Kalani’s life with the O’Rourke sisters' lives. What does her future look like?
9. Which scene did you enjoy the most? Which scenes made you laugh? Were there any scenes that made you cry or were especially touching? Were there any scenes that reminded you of your own life or struggles?
10. Of all the bra videos that Meggie took, which voice was the most memorable, the most poignant to you and why? Did the bra videos enrich the story?
11. Discuss Regan O’Rourke and her life’s journey. Did you like her? What were her goals before she died? Regan said,
I am not defined by my body or what has happened to it. I am not defined by beatings or an arching whip or a dangerous man, or by the wreckage of prostitution. I am not defined by my age. I am not defined by what others think of me. I am defined by myself. I will define myself to me. I will live, I will laugh, I will love. I will not be silenced. I will not be invisible. I will be me until the very end. And I will look beautiful… I dared to live the way I damn well wanted to live.
Are you like Regan?
12. Brianna O’Rourke says that women lose interest in sex because...
Often times women are simply not attracted to their partners anymore. Their partners are boring in bed or self centered, inane, ridiculous, abusive, or gross. It’s not what men want to hear, they want to blame their wives and girlfriends, but it’s the truth.
Sometimes women are flat out exhausted. There can be medical issues, like a thyroid problems or depression. There can be hormone issues, too, who likes blowing up in bed with night sweats? Working too hard will kill a sex drive, too, as can motherhood and its demands.
Is she right? How does Brianna’s own admission to not liking sex impact her ability to be an effective sex therapist, or does it? Was she a complicated character?
13. Brianna was not honest with Lacey and Meggie about Sperm Donor One and Two. What does that say about Brianna? How will this impact their relationship in future? What should Lacey and Meggie do? Contact the fathers or leave things alone? What would you do? If the story continued, where do you think the author would take that plot line?
14. If you were in the Fashion Story, what lingerie would you design for yourself? What would your video tape say about you?
15. Grandma Regan and the O’Rourke sisters had many adventures with the Bust Out And Shake It Adventure Club List. What’s on your list?
(Questions courtesy of the author.)