What Was Mine (Ross) - Discussion Questions

Discussion Questions
1. The title of the book, What Was Mine, gets at the themes of ownership and belonging. Discuss how that theme relates to the three main characters: Lucy, Marilyn, and Mia. What was theirs? What did they each lose throughout the story?

2. What is the effect of knowing from the beginning of the story that Lucy eventually gets caught?

3. In Lucy’s mind, aside from her one egregious act, she is a normal person—a good person, even. Is it possible for someone good and normal to stray so far from the path of what’s right and then simply return to it? Is it possible for a good person to do a bad thing, or are some acts so egregious as to define one as a bad person?

4. Marilyn’s character is portrayed as almost a different person before and after her daughter’s kidnapping. Discuss the ways in which she changes after going through this traumatic event.

5. "So much of who you are has to do with your mother." Do you agree with this statement?

6. Mia and Marilyn try to forgive Lucy for what she did, but others like Tom and even Lucy’s own sister, Cheryl, are not able to. Discuss the theme of forgiveness in the story. Why do you think two of the people most directly affected are the most willing to try to forgive? Have you ever been asked to forgive someone for something you thought was unforgivable?

7. Throughout the story, Lucy’s intentions don’t always line up with her actions. Even as she was kidnapping Mia, she was in denial about what she was doing, intending to give the baby back somehow. When she then almost lost Mia in a store, she "made promises to the universe" to set things right which she wouldn’t keep. She says she meant to tell Mia when she got older. "Part of me thought that if I waited long enough, if I used just the right words, perhaps she’d be able to understand." Do you think Lucy ever really intended to tell Mia the truth—or was she lying to herself about that, too?

8. After Mia discovers the truth about what happened to her, she has a hard time referring to either Lucy or Marilyn as "mother." Discuss what the word mother means to you. What makes a mother a mother? Is it the person who birthed you, whose genes you share, who raised you—and what if these don’t describe the same person? How do Mia’s feelings toward each of the women who think of themselves as her mother change over the next ten months?

9. When Lucy confesses her crime to Wendy, Wendy is kind and understanding, as she has a secret of her own to confess. Why do you think Wendy’s secret makes her sympathetic to Lucy? How do you think her secret compares with Lucy’s?

10. If the kidnapping hadn’t happened, Marilyn presumably would have chosen to remain employed and Mia would have been raised by a woman who, like Lucy, works outside the home. Compare and contrast the images presented in the book of different mothering styles and decisions that led to various choices. What do these differences in styles represent for Mia?

11. Marilyn and Tom both managed to eventually move on and make new lives for themselves after the kidnapping. Cheryl wonders how Lucy could ever "restore what she took from those parents[.] She took their baby. She took their marriage. She took the life they were meant to have." How do you think Marilyn and Tom would reconcile the regret of losing the life they were meant to have with embracing the seemingly happy lives they ended up with?

12. Does the fact that Lucy raised Mia with love excuse her actions? What does "restorative justice" mean in this case? How do you think she deserves to be punished for her crime?
(Questions issued by publisher.)

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