Who Do You Love
Jennifer Weiner, 2015
Atria
400 pp.
ISBN-13: 9781451617818
Summary
An unforgettable story about true love, real life, and second chances . . .
Rachel Blum and Andy Landis are just eight years old when they meet one night in an ER waiting room. Born with a congenital heart defect, Rachel is a veteran of hospitals, and she’s intrigued by the boy who shows up alone with a broken arm. He tells her his name. She tells him a story. After Andy’s taken back to a doctor and Rachel’s sent back to her bed, they think they’ll never see each other again.
Rachel grows up in an affluent Florida suburb, the popular and protected daughter of two doting parents. Andy grows up poor in Philadelphia with a single mom and a rare talent for running.
Yet, over the next three decades, Andy and Rachel will meet again and again—linked by chance, history, and the memory of the first time they met, a night that changed the course of both of their lives.
A sweeping, warmhearted, and intimate tale, Who Do You Love is an extraordinary novel about the passage of time, the way people change and change each other, and how the measure of a life is who you love. (From the publisher.)
Author Bio
• Birth—March 28, 1970
• Where—De Ridder, Louisiana, USA
• Raised—Simsbury, Connecticut
• Education—B.A., Princeton University
• Currently—lives in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Jennifer Weiner is an American writer, television producer, and former journalist. She is based in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.
Background
Weiner was born in DeRidder, Louisiana, where her father was stationed as an army physician. The next year, her family (including a younger sister and two brothers) moved to Simsbury, Connecticut, where Weiner spent her childhood.
Weiner's parents divorced when she was 16, and her mother came out as a lesbian at age 55. Weiner has said that she was "one of only nine Jewish kids in her high school class of 400" at Simsbury High School. She entered Princeton University at the age of 17 and received her bachelor of arts summa cum laude in English in 1991, having studied with J. D. McClatchy, Ann Lauterbach, John McPhee, Toni Morrison, and Joyce Carol Oates. Her first published story, "Tour of Duty," appeared in Seventeen magazine in 1992.
After graduating from college, Weiner joined the Centre Daily Times in State College, Pennsylvania, where she managed the education beat and wrote a regular column called "Generation XIII" (referring to the 13th generation following the American Revolution), aka "Generation X." From there, she moved on to Kentucky's Lexington Herald-Leader, still penning her "Generation XIII" column, before finding a job with the Philadelphia Inquirer as a features reporter.
Novels and TV
Weiner continued to write for the Inquirer, freelancing on the side for Mademoiselle, Seventeen, and other publications, until after her first novel, Good in Bed, was published in 2001.
In 2005, her second novel, In Her Shoes (2002), was made into a feature film starring Cameron Diaz, Toni Collette and Shirley MacLaine by 20th Century Fox. Her sixth novel, Best Friends Forever, was a No. 1 New York Times bestseller and made Publishers Weekly's list of the longest-running bestsellers of the year. To date, she is the author of 10 bestselling books, including nine novels and a collection of short stories, with a reported 11 million copies in print in 36 countries.
In addition to writing fiction, Weiner is a co-creator and executive producer of the (now-cancelled) ABC Family sitcom State of Georgia, and she is known for "live-tweeting" episodes of the reality dating shows The Bachelor and The Bachelorette. In 2011, Time magazine named her to its list of the Top 140 Twitter Feeds "shaping the conversation." She is a self-described feminist.
Personal
Weiner married attorney Adam Bonin in October of 2001. They have two children and separated amicably in 2010. As of 2014 she lives in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, with her partner Bill Syken.
Gender bias in the media
Weiner has been a vocal critic of what she sees as the male bias in the publishing industry and the media, alleging that books by male authors are better received than those written by women, that is, reviewed more often and more highly praised by critics. In 2010, she told Huffington Post,
I think it's a very old and deep-seated double standard that holds that when a man writes about family and feelings, it's literature with a capital L, but when a woman considers the same topics, it's romance, or a beach book—in short, it's something unworthy of a serious critic's attention.... I think it's irrefutable that when it comes to picking favorites—those lucky few writers who get the double reviews AND the fawning magazine profile AND the back-page essay space AND the op-ed...the Times tends to pick white guys.
In a 2011 interview with the Wall Street Journal blog Speakeasy, she said, "There are gatekeepers who say chick lit doesn’t deserve attention but then they review Stephen King." When Jonathan Franzen's novel Freedom was published in 2010 to critical acclaim and extensive media coverage (including a cover story in Time), Weiner criticized what she saw as the ensuing "overcoverage," igniting a debate over whether the media's adulation of Franzen was an example of entrenched sexism within the literary establishment.
Though Weiner received some backlash from other female writers for her criticisms, a 2011 study by the organization VIDA bore out many of her claims, and Franzen himself, in an interview with the Daily Telegraph, agreed with her:
To a considerable extent, I agree. When a male writer simply writes adequately about family, his book gets reviewed seriously, because: "Wow, a man has actually taken some interest in the emotional texture of daily life," whereas with a woman it’s liable to be labelled chick-lit. There is a long-standing gender imbalance in what goes into the canon, however you want to define the canon.
As for the label "chick lit", Weiner has expressed ambivalence towards it, embracing the genre it stands for while criticizing its use as a pejorative term for commercial women's fiction.
I’m not crazy about the label because I think it comes with a built-in assumption that you’ve written nothing more meaningful or substantial than a mouthful of cotton candy. As a result, critics react a certain way without ever reading the books.
In 2008, Weiner published a critique on her blog of a review by Curtis Sittenfeld of a Melissa Bank novel. Weiner deconstructs Sittenfeld's review, writing,
The more I think about the review, the more I think about the increasingly angry divide between ladies who write literature and chicks who write chick lit, the more it seems like a grown-up version of the smart versus pretty games of years ago; like so much jockeying for position in the cafeteria and mocking the girls who are nerdier/sluttier/stupider than you to make yourself feel more secure about your own place in the pecking order.
(Author bio adapted from Wikipedia. Retrieved 5/21/2014.)
Book Reviews
Compulsively readable.... Weiner’s skill is in the specifics. There’s no doubt she knows how to delivers a certain kind of story, and well.
New York Times Book Review
A must read... This roller-coaster romance—of two people from two very different sides of the track—proves we can’t choose who we love.
New York Post
This is Weiner's first-ever straightforward love story, centering on two characters,Rachel and Andy, who meet as children in the hospital waiting room. The book chronicles their journey through adulthood, as they determine whether they're soul mates despite wildly different backgrounds: Rachel, from a wealthy family and born with a congenital heart defect; and Andy, from a poor neighborhood in Philadelphia with dreams of running in the Olympics.
Washington Post
Overwhelmingly this is an affecting novel about how people carry the heavy burdens that came with their lives—and how they set them down so they can goon... Weiner draws her characters with empathy and nuance. We take the 30-year journey with them, and root for them along the way.
Philadelphia Inquirer
Readers will laugh, cry and find themselves caught up in the story, as Weiner explores the idea: 'Do soul mates really exist?' Weiner brings the characters to life with intricate details...It's a story about love gained and lost, and love eternal.
Associated Press
Weiner ventured into new territory in her latest entry in her signature genre:popular, smart fiction for and about grown-up women. Who Do You Love opens with Rachel and Andy actually meeting briefly as 8-year-olds in a busy hospital ER waiting room, then quickly separates them for the first time—but not the last—in the story that spans three decades. Told in chapters that alternate between Rachel's and Andy's lives, it's a first for Weiner in that the man essentially gets equal time in one of her books.
Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Jennifer Weiner returns with what might be her best love story yet. The sure-to-be smash is a classic love story, told over the course of two decades, twisted up with modern cultural observations and maybe just a miniature ode to Save the Last Dance and When Harry Met Sally.
Austin Chronicle
It’s The Fault in Our Stars all grown-up: Two kids meet in an ER, cross paths later—and don’t die. Thank you, book gods.
Glamour
A tale of love against the odds...Weiner's latest is a summer heart-warmer.
People
"Weiner has made a career out of conjuring women who have body image problems, falling out of love regularly and are generally relatable to the rest of us... From her first novel, Weiner has a mastery of the telling detail. Her latest novel has a notably more serious tone from her past work. The main characters meet in the hospital when they're both eight years old and spend the rest of the novel moving in and out of each other's lives.
Jewish Forward
(Starred review.) Readers will simultaneously want to savor and devour Weiner’s latest... With her well-known humor and charm, she conveys the essence of first love, particularly the adage that true love never dies. Complete with a riveting, realistic recounting of 9/11 and a plot twist that will make your jaw drop, Weiner’s brilliantly written novel will capture your heart.
Library Journal
(Starred review.) Weiner’s latest is pure romance and utterly heart tugging, showcasing her ability to write characters that readers will instantly connect with, flaws and all. There is a special delight here in getting to know Rachel and Andy from childhood to adulthood, and readers will find themselves laughing, crying, and hoping right along with the pair.
Booklist
This moving story of love that spans a lifetime is Weiner at her heartstring-tugging best... There are plenty of twists and turns in their relationship, and it's satisfying to watch them wind their ways toward the novel's perfectly realized conclusion.
Kirkus Reviews
Discussion Questions
1. How did the novel’s prologue frame your reading experience? Who did you imagine had broken Rachel’s heart, and were you surprised when you ultimately learned who Brenda was?
2. "She hadn’t said goodbye to me. She hadn’t told me enough about what it was like, when you knew you weren’t going to get better. She hadn’t told me if it had hurt" (page 34). How does Alice influence Rachel, and how does this early loss shape her sense of self in the years to come? You might also discuss the symbolism of the Ouija board in this scene. How does this childhood game take on greater meaning for both Alice and Rachel?
3. Compare Rachel’s initial impression to Andy’s first memory of Lori, "his beautiful mom with her red-lipsticked mouth and her hair that fell in ripples down her back." How does Andy’s perception of his mother change as he grows older, and what causes this shift? In what ways is Andy driven by how others perceive him, both for better and for worse?
4. While Andy is growing up, he sometimes worries that his mother "just [doesn’t] like him very much" (page 40). How do you feel the dynamics between Andy and Lori affect the other relationships in Andy’s life? Ultimately, how did you feel Lori’s parenting style positively served Andy—and in what ways did it hurt him?
5. Turn to page 69, where Nana and Rachel are discussing Mrs. Blum’s outburst during the bat mitzvah service. What do you think it means to be "a woman of valor," and why do you think Nana reminds Rachel of this, and the line from Proverbs, at this particular moment? How does Rachel live up to this ideal and in what ways does she fall short over the course of the novel?
6. How did you initially perceive Bethie Botts? As a teenager, do you think you would have acted differently toward her than Rachel and Marissa did on the youth retreat? How did Andy’s treatment of Bethie in the scene on page 130 affect your perspective on each of the characters involved—including Andy himself—and who did you feel for most deeply here? What did you make of Rachel and Bethie’s (now Elizabeth) interaction at their high school reunion? Was there a Bethie in your life—and if so, what would you say to them now?
7. Rachel and Andy’s relationship evolves in starts and stops. What are the external factors that work against them? Compare and contrast how the expectations of others affect how Andy and Rachel see each other, as well as their own expectations of what a happily coupled life should look like. Consider the roles that both time and timing play in their relationship. How does timing pull them apart while time brings them back together?
8. 9/11 is a turning point in the novel, and of course, was a pivotal moment for the world. Like Andy and Rachel, is there someone you would feel compelled to reach out to during a similar kind of crisis? Why do you think most of us have that person in our past whose memory we can’t quite let go of, who we yearn to reach out to when disaster strikes, whether it’s personal or global? Where does that yearning come from—and under normal conditions, what stands in the way of acting on it?
9. Did you feel that Jay and Maisie were better matches for Rachel and Andy? Why or why not? What does the novel seem to say about the roles that compatibility, stability, and desire play in lasting relationships—and how does the notion of "opposites attract" play into this?
10. Mr. Sills proves to be a formative mentor for Andy, but in what ways does he fail him? How do you feel his last words of advice affect Andy’s choices later in the novel?
11. How does the novel illustrate the ways that we love differently at each stage of our lives? How do Andy and Rachel love each other—and those around them—differently over the course of the novel? Does their connection change or is it at its core still the same?
12. A recurring theme in Who Do You Love is brokenness; the most obvious example is Rachel’s "broken heart." Where else do we see how both Rachel and Andy are broken? Despite coming from very different backgrounds, each character is also struggling with self-identity throughout the novel. Compare and contrast the ways in which Andy and Rachel work to fix their brokenness by carving out their own identities—Andy’s focus and drive to achieve a singular goal, as opposed to Rachel’s sometimes messy and circuitous road toward career and family. Where do these two very different paths leave them, and are they still broken at the end of the novel? Ultimately, do you think they help each other heal, or do they heal themselves?
(Questions issued by the publisher.)