The Gardens that Mended a Marriage
Karen Moloney, 2014
Muswell Press
223 pp.
ISBN-13: 9780957556836
Summary
The Gardens that Mended a Marriage tells the story of how the author and her husband, an eminent architect, built a contemporary Moorish house on the top of a mountain and created a Persian garden, following the recipe laid down in the Quran for a paradise on earth.
Except it wasn’t as easy as that. The land slipped down the mountain, the neighbours sued, the town hall went into paralysis and wouldn’t allow them to finish the house. The Spanish builder turned out to be incompetent, the lawyer disinterested and the project manager seriously ill. In between times, she visited gardens all over the world for ideas and tended her precious vegetable patch in north London and waited.
Through all this, they argued, made up, disagreed about the garden, argued again, invested a lot of money and almost gave up. But over the years they came to understand that a significant shift happens in a relationship when you let go.
It was the creation of the garden that taught them. Nature will allow you to sculpt her land, nurture her plants and take control only if you agree to her conditions. So it is with a marriage. You can fight human nature only to a certain extent. It’s a trade-off. Accepting that fact is the real recipe for a paradise on earth.
Author Bio
• Birth—August 26, 1955
• Where—Gibraltar, Overseas Territory, UK
• Education—B.A., Trinity College, Dublin
• Currently—lives in London, England
Dr Karen Moloney is a business psychologist, Director of Moloney Minds, leadership coach and a futurist. She travels the world meeting remarkable business people and helping them become even more remarkable. At least, that’s her day job. But by night, she’s a writer. In the in-between times, she’s an enthusiastic but inept amateur gardener. (From the author.)
Visit the author's book website.
Book Reviews
Utterly enchanting.
Daily Mail
Like many empty-nest couples, Karen Moloney and her husband had drifted so far apart they were virtual strangers. Could they create a new dream together than would rekindle their passion?
Good Housekeeping
An amazing story of dogged determination to realise a Spanish garden vision. Frustrating obstacles are ultimately overcome in this serious but humorous book. A lesson in horticultural perseverance becomes an emotional experience for both author and reader.
Penelope Hobhouse
Moving mountains? Creating a dream garden to save your marriage? Karen Moloney recounts how she and her husband did just that. A horticultural tour de force.
Charlie Hopkinson
A beautifully written tale of courage, calamity and persistence. Great on plants too.
Ken Livingstone
Discussion Questions
1. The book narrates a six year period in the lives of a couple struggling with a new building and garden. What did you find inspiring? What did you find disappointing?
2. Was there a specific passage that had left an impression, good or bad? Share the passage and its effect.
3. Was there a lesson that you personally have taken away from this story, either about relationships, building projects or gardening? What was it and why is it important for you?
4. This book tells the story of an ambitious project. Do you have any secret ambitions and is there a chance they could ever be fulfilled?
5. If you are an empty-nester, how have you coped with the void of your children leaving home?
6. Thinking about the author’s marriage, how typical are the ups and downs she shared? What did you think of her way of coping with them? How do you cope with them?
7. Non-fiction books can sometimes be technical. Was this book written in a way that was easily accessible? Were horticultural terms and concepts explained? Did the photos help to reinforce the subject matter and were they helpful?
8. Sometimes it is hard to categorize a book, as the author wrote in the Foreword and Afterword. Where do you think this book belongs? Gardening, travel, relationships? Or does it cross over several categories?
9. How well written was this book?
10. The author recounts her differences between herself and her husband in their approach to designing a garden. Have you experienced a tension between high-control and laisse-faire styles? Maybe between you and those you live or work with? How did you resolve it?
11. Was there something especially surprising about this story? What was it and why?
12. Does this book mainly appeal to men or women and why?
13. Memoirs trace a personal story. Did you have any preconceived opinions of the author when you first began reading and did they change in the course of her story? If so, did it change for the better or the worse?
14. Memoirs are only one side of the story, of course. What kind of book do you think Stanley would have written?
15. What do you think the next ten years will bring for the author and her family?
(Questions courtesy of the author.)