Mamalita—O'Dwyer - Discussion Questions

Discussion Questions
(Author Jessica O'Dwyer kindly provided the following Discussion Questions to LitLovers.)

1. The first scene opens in a hotel lobby in Guatemala City, when Jessica is handed her baby for the first time. She claims to have become a mother at that moment. Do you think that’s possible? When do we become parents? Can you name that moment for yourself?

2. Jessica went through early menopause, which prevented her from creating children “of her own.” For Jessica, adoption was the right choice. If faced with a similar diagnosis, what choice would you make?

3. The country of Guatemala plays an important role in the book. How do you feel about the way Jessica represents the country? Is she balanced in her observations? What did you learn about Guatemala from reading the book? Do you feel you understand it better?

4. Jessica and her husband, Tim, proceed with the adoption despite their growing distrust of Yolanda and Theodore. Were they naïve to trust their facilitators? Should they have abandoned the process and started over with a new agency, and therefore a different baby? How loyal should an adoptive parent be? At what point should they walk away? What would you do?

5. When the foster family invites Jessica and Tim to their home, they are able to see their daughter in her familiar setting, with a family she has lived with for nearly a year and has grown to love, and who loves her. Seeing Olivia with her foster mother is extremely painful for Jessica, because she understands they have developed a strong bond. At the same time, the foster family asks Jessica and Tim for shoes, blue jeans, a new car. What do you think of that relationship? Later in the book, Jessica says, “There is no map for the road on which we are traveling.” Would you navigate the foster family relationship the same way as Jessica, or differently?

6. Jessica and Tim decide to change their baby’s name from “Stefany” to “Olivia” when they learn Yolanda named all the babies “Caitlyn or Emily or Stefany, because those are names Americans like.” How do you feel about their decision? How important is name to our identity?

7. When Jessica sees the DNA photo of Olivia on her birth mother’s lap, she says she grasped the enormity of adoption: “That for one woman to become a mother, another mother had to give up her child.” How do you feel about adoption? Has reading the book changed your feelings? Enlarged them? What have you learned about the process?

8. Jessica and Tim were newlyweds when Jessica made the decision to quit her job and move to Antigua, Guatemala, to live with her daughter and fight to complete the adoption. Was that the right decision? Is it right to potentially sacrifice a marriage in order to become a mother?

9. What defines a mother? Or father. What does it mean to be a parent?
10. Imagine your reaction if, like Jessica, you saw your adoption facilitator caught on hidden camera on national TV, accused of being an “adoption broker.” Jessica decided to hire a professional searcher in Guatemala to find her daughter’s birth mother, Ana, to confirm that the adoption was Ana’s decision, made with free will. Did you agree with Jessica’s decision to search?

11. Most adoptions in the U.S. are “open,” meaning the birth mother and adoptive family maintain contact. In general, international adoptions are “closed,” with no contact. Jessica went against this trend by finding Olivia’s birth mother. Do parents have the “right” to make contact with birth family? Or should the decision to search be left up to children themselves, when they are older? What are the benefits and hazards of each?

12. How important is it to connect with biological family? Has reading the book influenced your opinion on the subject? If so, how?

13. Guatemala endured a 36-year civil war and is now a country in chaos, wracked by violence, unemployment, and drug trafficking. Jessica calls it “the beautiful and flawed country.” Adoptions closed in Guatemala in December 2007. Should efforts be made to reopen the system? Or is the system beyond repair? Is it better for children to remain in their country of origin, even if that means growing up in an orphanage? Families in Guatemala very rarely adopt non-blood relatives. How do you feel about international adoption, in general?

14. In the final scene, Jessica is about to introduce Olivia to Ana. Can you visualize the meeting? How would feel as Olivia’s adoptive mother, witnessing Olivia meeting her birth mother for the first time.

15. Did reading the book change you in any way?
(Questions courtesy of author)

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