Mennonite Meets Mr. Right: A Memoir of Faith, Hope, and Love
Rhoda Janzen, 2013
Grand Central Publishing
272 pp.
ISBN-13: 9781455502875
Summary
At the end of her bestselling memoir Mennonite in a Little Black Dress, Rhoda Janzen had reconnected with her family roots, though her future felt uncertain. When this overeducated professor starts dating the most unlikely of men—a weight-liftin', church-goin', truck-drivin' rocker named Mitch—she begins a surprising journey to faith and love.
Nothing says, "Let's get to know each other!" like lady problems on an epic scale, but Mitch vows to stay by her side. Convinced that his bedrock character has something to do with his Pentecostal church, Rhoda suits up for a brave new world of sparkler pom-poms and hand-clappin' hallelujahs.
Written with her trademark "uproarious, bawdy sense of humor" (Minneapolis Star-Tribune), Mennonite Meets Mr. Right is witty and moving, perfect for anyone who has taken an unexpected detour only to find that new roads lead to rich destinations. (From the publisher.)
Author Bio
• Birth—1963
• Where—North Dakota, USA
• Education—Ph. D, University of California, Los Angeles
• Currently—lives in Michigan
Rhoda Janzen is an American poet, academic and memoirist, best known for her three memoirs: Mennonite in a Little Black Dress (2011), Does This Church Make Me Look Fat? (2012), and Mennonite Meets Mr. Right (2013).
Janzen grew up in a Mennonite household in North Dakota. She earned a Ph.D. from UCLA, where she was the University of California Poet Laureate in 1994 and 1997.
In 2006, Janzen’s husband of 15 years left her for a man, and she suffered serious injuries in car accident a few days later. While on sabbatical from her teaching position, she went home to her Mennonite family in Fresno, California, to heal from these crises. These experiences are recounted in her memoir Mennonite in a Little Black Dress.
Her second memoir, Does This Church Make Me Look Fat?, tells the story of her experiences surviving breast cancer, becoming a stepmom, and attending her new husband’s Pentecostal church. Mennonite Meets Mr. Right recounts Janzen's courtship with her eventual husband.
In addition to her memoir, Janzen is the author of Babel’s Stair, a collection of poetry. Her poems have also appeared in Poetry, The Yale Review, The Gettysburg Review, and The Southern Review. (Adapted from Wikipedia. Retrieved 11/01/2013.)
Book Reviews
Janzen is the kind of writer-world-weary yet incredulous; girlfriend-esque and conversational-that draws you along through a story with ease...[Does This Church Make Me Look Fat] would fit naturally on a shelf, say, next to your collection of beat-up Anne Lamott paperbacks. It has that same sort of accessibility to it; that same sort of acceptance.
Charity Vogel - Buffalo News
Smart and witty.... Janzen has a remarkable ability to demystify religion through humor and humanity.
Susanne Jaffe - Columbus Dispatch
Amazingly light-hearted... [Janzen] is not so much proselytizing for her particular religion as she is pointing toward the value of examining one's own beliefs, whatever they might be, and finding a way to live with them in joy.
Colette Bancroft - Tampa Bay Times
A delight for fans of [Janzen's] warm, wisecracking style.... Her enthusiasm and spirit and knack for finding humor in the God details make this book a crowd-pleaser.
Hannah Sampson - Miami Herald
(Starred review.) Following up on the success of her previous memoir (Mennonite in a Little Black Dress), Janzen tackles her next set of difficult and joyful experiences with humor and gratitude.... Janzen’s new love, a devoted Pentecostal, rekindles her lackluster feeling about religion and she delights in comparing her Mennonite faith to the brash style of Pentecostals.... This is a joyful trek through one woman’s spiritual journey into a new life as a wife, stepmother, and believer.
Publishers Weekly
A hilarious account of the small details that make a life.... Readers from all backgrounds will be inspired by Janzen's tale of love and faith told with her trademark wit and honesty.
Booklist
Discussion Questions
1. Much of this memoir turns on the contrast between faith and intellect. Do you believe that the two are fundamentally incompatible? Does Rhoda?
2. The story frames breast cancer as a "lady problem," but the narrative implies that there are other far more significant lady problems. What are they? Does Rhoda suggest any solutions for these lady problems?
3. When Rhoda and her brother played the geography game, she stumped him by choosing Chad, a country so large and obvious that her brother wouldn’t spot it. Have you ever had a blind spot the size of Chad in your life? What was it? What did it take for you to notice it?
4. Why does Rhoda use humor to downplay her struggle with cancer? At one point Rhoda suggests that since childhood she has struggled with avoidance. Is the cancer humor an example of avoidance? If so, what is Rhoda failing to confront? If not, what positive function might the humor have? Can humor enable growth? Can it free us from fear?
5. Rhoda grew up in a sober Mennonite community, and she is surprised to find that the Pentecostals really know how to shake it. What other differences did you notice between Mennonite and Pentecostal services? Have you ever visited places of worship different from your own? Did your visit broaden your understanding of your faith?
6. Rhoda says that gratitude has become so important to her that she is willing to do almost anything to get more of it. In your experience, what are the positive outcomes of gratitude? Gratitude is an action that Rhoda goes out of her way to practice. How does she achieve it? Can anyone achieve it, or do you have to be predisposed to it? Can you think of any dangers inherent in the deliberate cultivation of gratitude?
7. Rhoda speaks of learning to put down past resentments and grudges. How has she achieved that? Have you been able to set down your biggest grudge, your all-time worst hurt? Can it be done without calling on a Higher Power?
8. When it comes right down to it, chapter eight, "The Gottman Island Survival Experience," is an argument for abstinence. What are the pros and cons of abstinence in contemporary American culture? How would your life have been different if you had (or had not) embraced abstinence before making a commitment to your partner?
9. Rhoda and Mitch wonder if other couples have been similarly impacted by the sacramental power of the marriage covenant. What do you think? Is the institution of marriage ultimately any different from a monogamous romantic partnership?
10. Chapter ten, "The Poovey Voice," suggests that spiritual seekers must learn to give before they will receive. Do you believe that financial giving is important to spiritual growth? What about other kinds of giving? Think of the greatest, hardest gift you have ever given; did it result in your growth?
11. Mitch admits that Albert does not love him "overmuch." Do you know any parents who do not love their children "overmuch"? Rhoda and Mitch believe that Albert’s chronic negativity is harmful. How do they respond to it? What should adult children do when parents display unhealthy behavior? How can we have both boundaries and forgiveness?
12. Albert keeps all of his late wife’s things. Rhoda says she believes in "a clean sweep" after a breakup or the death of a loved one. In what ways is Rhoda making "a clean sweep" after her first marriage? How is Mitch making a sweep of his own?
(Questions from the author's website.)