On Toby's Terms
Charmaine Hammond, 2010
Bettie Youngs Books
264 pp.
ISBN-13: 9780984308149
Summary
#1 Non Fiction Book in Calgary, Canada
Winner, 2012 Gold for Readers' Favorite
On Toby's Terms is a adult memoir.When Charmaine and her husband adopted Toby, a five-year-old Chesapeake Bay retriever, they figured he might need some adjusting time, but they certainly didn't count on what he'd do in the meantime. Soon after he entered their lives and home, Toby proved to be a holy terror who routinely opened and emptied the hall closet, turned on water taps, pulled and ate things from the bookshelves, sat for hours on end in the sink, and spent his days rampaging through the house.
Oddest of all was his penchant for locking himself in the bathroom, and then pushing the lid of the toilet off the tank, smashing it to pieces. After a particularly disastrous encounter with the knife-block in the kitchen—and when the couple discovered Toby's bloody paw prints on the phone—they decided Toby needed professional help.
Little did they know what they would discover about this dog. On Toby's Terms is an endearing story of a beguiling creature who teaches his owners that, despite their trying to teach him how to be the dog they want, he is the one to lay out the terms of being the dog he needs to be. This insight would change their lives forever. (From the publisher.)
Author Bio
Charmaine Hammond, is the best selling and award winning author of the memoir On Toby's Terms (2010), about her family dog. The book is in development to be a motion picture with Impact Motion Pictures. She also co-authored GPS Your Best Life (2012)—charting your destination and getting there in style. In addition to her adult novels, Charmain has also published a series of children's books—Toby The Pet Therapy Dog & His Hospital Friends (2011), and Be a Buddy Not a Bully (2012).
Toby, the dog, has given Charmaine much to write about. From learning to put on his own seat belt, making a difference in the lives of many through his visitation at local hospitals as a therapy dog, and dressing up in a jail uniform to raise money from charity, Toby has given people much to smile about. Toby has presented in front of more than 10,000 students and some 1500 adults.
As a professional speaker in her other life, Charmaine has spoken to audiences internationally and is a sought after speaker at corporate events, conferences and author conventions. She also hosts three wildly popular radio shows.
Charmain is the winner of the 2012 Business Matchmaker of the Year award, an international award (eWomenNetwork) and has been nominated for the 2012 RBC Woman Entrepreneur of the Year Award.
She has been featured in the Metro USA, Metro Canada, Edmonton Journal, Edmonton and Spruce Grove Examiner, Calgary and Edmonton Sun, Del Mar Times, National Post, Global TV, CTSTV, Alberta Prime Time (CTV) and on many radio stations in the US and Canada. (From the author.)
Charmain hopes you'll visit Toby on your terms...on his very own website — www.ontobysterms.com.
Book Reviews
Authentically moving. You will be different after reading this book. Charmaine provides exquisite life lessons, shows you humility on steroids, and offers new perceptions on the illusion of contro—all through the experience of a beloved dog. A pure joy to read.
Shawne Duperon - CEO ShawneTV, Six-time EMMY award winner
A touching portrait of a remarkable dog. If you’re looking for a feel-good story, this is it.
Jamie Hall - Edmonton Journal
Simply a beautiful book about life, love and purpose.
Jack Canfield, Co-author of Chicken Soup for the Soul
Charmaine Hammond is a Saint! You'll see why when you read this book and the incredible duress she and her husband Chris had to endure through their dog Toby. The way they persevered is both incredible and heart-warming, and the Life Lessons they learned in the process are ones everyone should know and cherish to reach their Full Life Potential. This is not just a story about a dog...it's a tail (I mean "tale"...sorry I couldn't resist ;) of LOVE, Compassion, Heartbreak, Joy, Renewal, and Purpose. Whether you're a pet-lover or not, you'll be moved by the author's mastery of story-telling and you'll come to love Toby just as much as Charmaine and Chris did. I don't even own a dog, and I couldn't put this book down. Get a copy for yourself and any one you love. If you like the "Chicken Soup for the Soul" series, this is Chicken Soup on steroids.
Dave Albano - Full Life Potential
Discussion Questions
1. What were the most poignant lessons that Toby taught his owners, Charmaine and Christopher? What is the most profound lesson you learned from your own pet?
2. Clearly this dog is a handful—and on occasion, the couple come close to surrendering him to the local shelter. But they stick it out and then fall in love with him. How did this couple grow, both individually and in their marriage, as a result of their life with Toby? In what way did this couple enhance Toby’s emotional and physical health? How would you have dealt with a dog like Toby?
3. Charmaine discusses her tendency toward being a perfectionist and all-or-nothing thinking—a trait that is also shared to some degree by her husband, Chris. How did this trait affect their relationship and marriage? How did it impact their relationship with Toby? Do you think that you are a perfectionist? Why or why not?
4. The author and her husband survive a life-threatening experience. How did this incident impact them, and in what ways did it change their lives? In what way did bringing Toby into their lives allow them relive the lessons learned that day? Do you think you would have responded the same way or differently?
5. The couple are told by a behaviorist that Toby “lacks purpose” and clarity on his role in the family. In what ways did helping Toby discover his purpose modify his behavior. How would you define your “purpose” and in what way do you deem it necessary to living with passion?
6. “Letting go” is a theme throughout the story. What is the relevance of “letting go” and in what way does doing so change the author’s life? Have you ever had to “let go” of something? How did that affect you?
7. In what way is Toby an inspiration? In this story, who inspired you the most and for what reason? Who or what inspires you?
8. Charmaine alludes to the axiom, “When the student is ready, the teacher appears.” Who was the teacher—the author or Toby? Of the lessons each learned, what was the most significant? Are you a teacher, student, or both? Explain.
9. When Toby tips over the keepsake box, what hidden treasures surprise Charmaine? How do these discoveries impact Chris and Charmaine’s future with Toby? Do you have a box of “hidden treasures”? What memories do they evoke?
10. What kept Christopher from all but giving up on Toby? How did this decision affect the couple’s marriage and their plans for their future? Facing the same sort of situation, would you have given up or stuck with it? Why?
11. Charmaine comes off as an optimist, seeing the good in situations. How does this mindset both help and hinder her? Do you consider yourself optimistic or pessimistic? How does this view affect your life? Do you think you should change?
12. As Charmaine and Chris became the “pack leaders” in Toby’s life, his behavior improved. Had they accepted this sooner, would the outcome have been different? What qualities do pack leaders emulate? When have you been a pack leader in your life? How did being a pack leader change a situation for you?
(Questions kindly provided by the author.)