On Toby's Terms (Hammond) - Discussion Questions

Discussion Questions
1. What were the most poignant lessons that Toby taught his owners, Charmaine and Christopher? What is the most profound lesson you learned from your own pet?

2. Clearly this dog is a handful—and on occasion, the couple come close to surrendering him to the local shelter. But they stick it out and then fall in love with him. How did this couple grow, both individually and in their marriage, as a result of their life with Toby? In what way did this couple enhance Toby’s emotional and physical health? How would you have dealt with a dog like Toby?

3. Charmaine discusses her tendency toward being a perfectionist and all-or-nothing thinking—a trait that is also shared to some degree by her husband, Chris. How did this trait affect their relationship and marriage? How did it impact their relationship with Toby? Do you think that you are a perfectionist? Why or why not?

4. The author and her husband survive a life-threatening experience. How did this incident impact them, and in what ways did it change their lives? In what way did bringing Toby into their lives allow them relive the lessons learned that day? Do you think you would have responded the same way or differently?

5. The couple are told by a behaviorist that Toby “lacks purpose” and clarity on his role in the family. In what ways did helping Toby discover his purpose modify his behavior. How would you define your “purpose” and in what way do you deem it necessary to living with passion?

6. “Letting go” is a theme throughout the story. What is the relevance of “letting go” and in what way does doing so change the author’s life? Have you ever had to “let go” of something? How did that affect you?

7. In what way is Toby an inspiration? In this story, who inspired you the most and for what reason? Who or what inspires you?

8. Charmaine alludes to the axiom, “When the student is ready, the teacher appears.” Who was the teacher—the author or Toby? Of the lessons each learned, what was the most significant? Are you a teacher, student, or both? Explain.

9. When Toby tips over the keepsake box, what hidden treasures surprise Charmaine? How do these discoveries impact Chris and Charmaine’s future with Toby? Do you have a box of “hidden treasures”? What memories do they evoke?

10. What kept Christopher from all but giving up on Toby? How did this decision affect the couple’s marriage and their plans for their future? Facing the same sort of situation, would you have given up or stuck with it? Why?

11. Charmaine comes off as an optimist, seeing the good in situations. How does this mindset both help and hinder her? Do you consider yourself optimistic or pessimistic? How does this view affect your life? Do you think you should change?

12. As Charmaine and Chris became the “pack leaders” in Toby’s life, his behavior improved. Had they accepted this sooner, would the outcome have been different? What qualities do pack leaders emulate? When have you been a pack leader in your life? How did being a pack leader change a situation for you?
(Questions kindly provided by the author.)

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